If Only

To all the bullies, this song is for you.

What have I done?
Why are you hurting me this way?
I want to know why
I need to know why

I don’t recall ever hurting you
All I ever wanted was to please you
But every little thing I do seems wrong
You seem to find pleasure in my desolation

Chorus:
I cried a thousand times
Helpless in my sleep
You left scars in my heart
Aching deep within
Painful memories coming back alive
Forever haunting, forever hurting
If scars could only fade away…

I wish it was so easy
Blurring them away
It’s been years now, you see
But what you’ve done
Can’t seem to be undone

They were supposed to be jokes
Tricks to tickle the soul
I don’t know what kind of jokes they were
They left scars in my heart

Chorus:
I cried a thousand times
Helpless in my sleep
You left scars in my heart
Aching deep within
Painful memories coming back alive
Forever haunting, forever hurting
If scars could only fade away…

I don’t really hate you
I have, in fact, forgiven you
I just don’t deserve to live with this
All the days of my life

*Photo taken from Rebloggy.com

© 2014 The Mockingbird in Me

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As If We Never Said Goodbye

I saw Kurt’s version of this song in GLEE a year ago, and I thought “why not give it a try.” Let me know if you like my version. 🙂

Mama

To all the mothers… Here’s a song originally composed for you.
Happy Mother’s Day!

No words can describe you
I’m so blessed to have you
Hard working, full of energy,
You’re always there to care for me
And love me, no matter what

Mama, I miss you everyday of my life
But my thoughts of you I’ve kept
They are always in my heart
And I’m never far from home
You and me, friends forever

Chorus:
Mama, you are the true meaning of perfection
Mama, you are my light in this world
Mama, you are my hero, my strength, and my will
I love you
Yes, I do

I used to think that you don’t understand me at all
Neglecting me,
Disregarding me and my wishes
But you’ve seen past all that
And touched me deep down inside
Mama, you showed me the way

Chorus:
Mama, you are the true meaning of perfection
Mama, you are my light in this world
Mama, you are my hero, my strength, and my will
I love you
Yes, I do

Bridge:
I was mean
I was selfish
I was full of imperfections
But Mama, how can you love me this way?

Chorus:
Mama, you are the true meaning of perfection
Mama, you are my light in this world
Mama, you are my hero, my strength, and my will
I love you
Yes, I do

*Lyrics by St. Joseph Catholic Youth (Alofi, Niue)
*Music by “me” 🙂
*Live Recording: St. Joseph Catholic Youth

© 2014 The Mockingbird in Me

Inay

“Inay” or simply “Nay” is the general name we use to address our mothers in the Philippines. Hence, if you’re hungry and in need of food, you would say, “Gutom po ako, Nay.” Moreover, if you’re hurt and in need of help, you would have to yell, “Inay!”

Today, in response to the DAILY PROMPT which is about the Power of TOUCH, I would like to pay tribute to a person who I consider my second Inay. She was sweet, nice, and very caring — was very generous, too! She was the person we ran to whenever we needed help. She was a source of strength and inspiration. She was our HERO.

Nay Lucy died of cervical cancer last year. My mother said she was fighting for her life. She didn’t want to die yet — she still had a lot of plans for the family.

I could still remember her warm embrace three years ago when she said good-bye to me at our local airport. She was sad but at the same time happy for me for getting a new job. She was strong. She never cried in front of me… her way of telling me that everything was going to be alright.

I so miss her powerful touch. I was unable to attend her burial (the saddest part) … and I don’t know how it’s going to be like not to see her when I go home this month.

I wrote a song for her in Filipino. I’ll try to translate in English so you would understand.

INAY

Puso ko’y lumuluha
Habang ika’y minamasdan
Aking binabalikbalikan
Di malilimutang nakaraan

Hahanaphanapin ko, Ina
‘Yong mga hele at kanta
Ngayong ikay lilisan na
Hayaan mong alayan ka

Chorus:
Tulog lang, tulog lang
Ng mahimbing, tulog lang
Damhin ang yakap ko Inay
Maging mapanatag ka na
Sa ‘yong pamamahinga

Nais kong pasalamatan ka
Sa bawat sandaling kapiling ka
Bawat ngiti at hapdi
Ikay laging na sa tabi (chorus)

Coda:
Di ko kayang tiisin
Makita kang nagdurusa
Masakit man sa damdamin
Kailangang tanggapin

Chorus 2:
Tulog lang, tulog lang
Ng mahimbing, tulog lang
Damhin ang yakap ko Inay
Minamahal kita, Inay

Mom

My heart cries
Whilst looking at you
Unforgettable memories
I keep reminiscing

I will keep longing for all of it, Mom
Your lullabies and songs
Now that you’re going
Allow me to sing this song for you

Chorus:
Just sleep, just sleep
Sleep soundly, just sleep
Feel my warm embrace
And be at peace
in your sleep

I want to thank you
For every moment with you
Every smile, every pain
You were there by my side (chorus)

Coda:
I can’t bear the pain
Looking at you like this
Painful as it is
I will have to accept…

Just sleep, just sleep
Sleep soundly, just sleep
Feel my warm embrace
I love you, Mom

*I had to record myself and send copy of the song urgently so that my friend could sing it during the burial. Here’s a very rough copy of it.

My 50th Post!

Hello, my friends! Yes, I’m on my 50th post now. And thanks to all of you (100 followers now), I enjoyed my first two months of stay here at WordPress. What a beautiful community! You inspire me so much!

For my 50th post, I’m going to share to you another wedding song I’ve composed for my best-friend. This friend of mine is a bit interesting because she is not your lady-like type of a bride. If I was to compare her to a Disney character, I would liken her to Mulan. She has a mind of her own, very independent, a woman of few words, and has the tendency to be dominant in a relationship. When I interviewed her for this song, she showed me a little bit of that other side of Mulan — that soft side of her. She told me about how happy she was that finally someone has taken the courage to ask her hand for marriage. “It hasn’t been easy,” she said “as I needed someone who can over power me and make me feel like a woman.” She told me about how she has had enough of being the strong one, the bread winner, the one who plans and tries to solve every problem — “This time, I want to be taken care of.”

Well, my friends, my best-friend is now happily married to a soldier. It’s unfortunate that I could not attend her wedding, but I made sure that I was there in spirit. So I wrote a song which she could sing during the exchange of vows. I had to sing it in her key in this rough recording. Ooppss, I forgot to tell you that I could sing like a woman. It’s a gift that God has given to me according to my mom, so I nurtured it and kept it intact. My choral conductors before always assign me to sing with the altos especially when they needed lighter altos to glide with the sopranos. They would call me “counter tenor” — a male singer that sings alto. Well, hope you enjoy the song. It’s a short one, but sweet. Here’s the lyrics:

As Long As You’re There

I believe in you and me
I believe in what we can ever be
I have my fears, my doubts, and my imperfections
But I’ll be alright
I can face our tomorrow
As long as you’re there

I can see a life together with you
‘cause when you’re around,
I feel safe and secured
You give me light
You give me hope
You make me see things clearly
I am myself when I’m with you

‘Cause you are everything to me
You’re my sun, and I’m your moon
So today, I give you my sweetest “I do”
I love you
Yes, I do

I believe in you and me
I believe in what we can ever be
I have my fears, my doubts, and my imperfections
But I’ll be alright
I can face our tomorrow
As long as you’re there

Then You Found Me

I don’t consider myself expert at this, but here’s a song I’d like to share to you. I wrote it for a friend who got married a month ago, and it was sang during her wedding. This is actually the third time I wrote a wedding song for a friend. I would usually interview them and ask them a gazillion questions about their love story. And then I craft the song.

This recording is one that I did. It’s a rough copy which I sent back home (Philippines) for the wedding singer to learn. You will notice that the chorus is just a repetition of the line, “Then you found me.” I purposely did that for emphasis sake. The line actually says it all. It’s more than enough to communicate the message. Hope you will like it.

I’ve been looking at the sky
As the clouds pass me by
I marvel at its beauty and wonder
Would someone ever look at it with me one day?

The sun is waving good-bye
Leaving me with a lullaby
Echoing, it’ll be alright
Helping me make it through the night

Then you found me…
Found me…
Then you found me…
Found me…

Oh! There’s this other sky
I’ve longed to see
All I ever wanted is someone
Who would want to see it with me

Who’d help me see this world
I’ve never seen before
A world so full of magic
A world where I can soar

Then you found me…
Found me…
Then you found me…
Found me…

Since the day you’ve found me
My world has changed completely
My heart has taken wings
With you, I’m free

Cause you found me…
Found me…
Cause you found me…
Found me…

This is ME

I’ve been taking baby steps
Opening myself to you

My friend,
This is ME

I’m not gonna lie
Hoping to keep you

This is ME
Let me sing for you

A Song for You, My Friend

Let me borrow
the words of Elton John —
I hope you don’t mind
I hope you don’t mind
That I put down in words
How wonderful life is
While you’re in the world

*Yes, that’s me singing… 😉