Glimpse of Life

I think of you
as I lie down tonight,
wond’rin if we’re looking
at the same sky.
My friends, they’re mute
they dance in cheer
looking down
with smiles
as if to reassure.

Their glitters,
they sparkle in my bed
filling up empty spaces,
as though embellishments
the lover of Art uses
to brighten up the day.
Oh, how I wish they could speak
or even gesture,
they would lead me to you.

This pillow is all I have tonight.
It’s plain, it’s dull,
it’s faceless.
Might I start painting
pictures of you in my mind?
I wonder how you look,
or sound like.
Your eyes —
Are they blue
or grey,
or green…?
I wonder how it feels like
in your embrace.

This night shall pass —
Will I ever get to see you?
Will this heart’s longing
ever be quenched?
These eyes, tired of looking,
will they finally get to rest?

I would trade this life,
if only to see you.
One glimpse is all I need.
Knowing you
would be heaven,
but a glimpse
is life enough.

© 2014 The Mockingbird in Me

One More Time

Taken at Ana-ana Point, Tamakautoga, Niue

Taken at Ana-ana Point, Tamakautoga, Niue

I came back to see you one more time
Perhaps to savor this moment
To relish the warmth and joy we bring
No words, no gestures, just gazes
Oh, how intimate!
I like it that way.

I came back to see you one more time
Even though only for a very a short time
Time seems endless
With you around

I came back to see you one more time
Only to say ‘goodbye’ again
Hoping this isn’t our last
Oh, let me look at you
While this lasts

© 2014 The Mockingbird in Me

Taking Time — Happy Fathers’ Day!

I’m taking the time to stop
And think about you
I try and think of good memories
Of special times
Of unforgettable moments

You probably think
That I don’t care
Nor appreciate you
For what you do
For I have not made an effort
Like this, for you, before

Don’t get me wrong
You and I, we have always been good
I can’t think of a time where I felt
That you weren’t just
Or reasonable enough to understand
But you see, I love you so much
And I don’t think you truly understand that

Let me open up myself
And tell you from deep within
Let me show you
And make you feel
What I truly feel
Let me sing for you again
Songs of beautiful memories
I love you, Pa!
Yes, I do.

I remember those times
The very times when
You had to downplay yourself
To be the cool one
To keep the family going

From a far, I was watching you
And felt your pains
The hurt that you so bravely
And heroically turned into
Positive outcomes
The fact we are still intact today
One family,
We owe it to you

So thank you for your great love
Love that you probably
Tried to show to us in ways
That you know
I’ve got to tell you
You weren’t expressive too, you know
But deep inside I know you do
I’ve always felt it in silence

So let me open up myself
And tell you from deep within
Let me show you
And make you feel
What I truly feel
Let me sing for you again
Songs of beautiful memories
I love you, Pa!
Yes, I do.

© 2014 The Mockingbird in Me

Turning 30!

I’m turning 30 in a couple of hours, and honestly I am panicking!!!

What is life beyond 29?

All I know is that I’m getting old, and that I’m suppose to embrace a life of adulthood, where everything is about maturity, and grace, stability, and so on and so forth. The expectation list could go on endlessly actually.

I tried ‘googling’ life @ 30 to check whether or not it is normal for me to feel this way. Turns out, I’m not alone. 🙂

I decided to take some time to process my emotions, and I realized that I’m having mixed feelings about this whole 30th birthday of mine. Whilst I’m anxious about life after 20’s, I’m also actually happy and elated looking back at the memorable things that happened in my life. I mean, for me it’s still surreal to be at the very spot in life where I am at the moment. I did always give my best — one of the things I learned from the Jesuits — but I’d be lying if I’d say that it was all hard-work. I must say that I was greatly blessed, and I owe it all to Him who is watching from up above.

I’ve decided to dedicate this post to Him in thanksgiving for the many blessings He has gifted me.

Lord, you’ve made feel Your presence today
despite my sinfulness,
my arrogance,
selfishness,
my worldly desires.

I was unworthy,
yet You came.
I was empty,
and You filled me.
I was lonely,
and You gave me comfort.
I was lost,
and You gave me light.

I cried, Lord, when You said:

“I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus.” John 17:23
“He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you.” Romans 8:31
“And to tell you that I am not counting your sins.” 2 Corinthians 5:18-19
“Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled.” 2 Corinthians 5:18-19
“His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you.” 1 John 4:10
“I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love.” Romans 8:31-32

How great is Your love, Lord!
How wonderful!
“What am I that You should love me
and hold me as Your dearest love of all?”

Thank you, Lord.
Thank you.
Thank you for Your great love and mercy.
Know that I love You too…

Together

Every moment from now on You and Me
Together in this winding road
Even if the end’s uncertain and left unseen
I with you is all that matters

For in life no matter where this road takes us
You will still be the one
I hear you say everyday, thanking God
For having me in your life

Your never ending love
Has found my heart
Keeping it forever — I will
There is nothing to fear of tomorrow
‘Cause all that matters is
You love me
And I do, too.

*Song composed with Inkversified.

Lackadaisical Me

lazy-lion

I’ve posted this here before on my first week of blogging — when I didn’t have a lot of friends yet. So, I’m featuring it again. Let me know what you think.

Today’s one of those days when I just can’t be bothered to do things that I’m supposed to be working on and accomplish urgently. I have piles and piles of work to be done — marking students’ papers, writing reports, and all the other gazillion things required of a teacher. Sometimes I question myself as to whether I was right or not in choosing this profession. Well, everybody says it’s a noble job, and it is indeed! But the demands and pressures in it are just but overwhelming. Every teacher on this planet will probably agree with me on that. These demands and pressures — they sometimes scare the hell out of you and make you think: Boy, is this ever going to end?

I’ve always envied most of my friends who come home from work without having to worry about what to do for tomorrow. I see them enjoying themselves doing things they want to do — watching films, reading their favorite books, or socialize with other friends. And then there I am in my room, busy planning lessons for the following day — how unfair is that?

It’s just funny though because at the end of the school holidays when I’ve had my share of rest and enjoyment already, I would miss my students and would suddenly grow a feeling of excitement and urge to start planning lessons again. Don’t get me wrong though. I know that I love teaching, and I really do. I’m just cold feet sometimes, and whenever I start feeling the cold, I tend to be lackadaisical. 😉

Have you ever felt being incompetent at work before? You feel guilty because you think you could have done better? I’ve realized I still have some insecurities in me that I need to battle and put an end with. Over the years, I’ve tried to deal with each one of them but I guess they don’t go away that easily. It’s not my fault though, I would say. These things I’ve acquired over the years from my surroundings, and from how I was raised as a kid, and even from the school where I spent most of my life. I was raised in a very competitive environment, where I’m supposed to have known, and read, and studied everything way ahead of time. An environment where I learned to be prepared all the time otherwise I’d look dum, stupid, silly.

I think that pressures and expectations in this world — they do take their toll, and the effects are but devastating as ever. I’ve had sleepless nights, nightmares, and sudden ‘cannot be explained depressing moments’. I wake up shocked to see myself crying from a bad dream that’s usually to do with past humiliating memories.

I think it’s time that we truly love one another. Let’s be concerned and truly caring. For what really matters most in the long run is that we’ve loved (and therefore HAPPY) at all. 🙂

*Photo not mine. Thanks to whoever the owner is.

This WordPress Community

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*Written in response to Internet take me away, let virtual reality be my lover! from the blog TheWhyAboutThis.

Dear Penny,

Yes, I agree. It is truly a blessing to have such an avenue to mingle and make friends, to be entertained and to entertain, to appreciate and be appreciated.

And I so love the culture being nurtured here — there’s that culture of appreciation, caring for one another, and most of all that culture of respect.

In this community, I don’t feel discriminated nor do I feel that there is some kind of a status or class. No one is above or below anyone as everyone is within reach.

I exchange ideas with lawyers, doctors, scientists, educators, businessmen, mothers, fathers, students, builders, artists, musicians, and that lists goes on. What’s interesting is that it doesn’t matter that we all wear different hats. These hats are just but added features or shall we say characteristics we give to a character to spice up the story.

We are all lost in the charisma and hypnotic beauty of this live drama that we are all participating in. But what’s more beautiful about this is that unlike fiction, this is not a make believe story. This is a story that is ongoing and happening in actuality. And we are not just sitting to be entertained for we are the very characters actively involved in this huge story we are all ‘complexly’ writing.

This is really happening, Penny. We’re all affecting one another, exchanging views and opinions, and learning for the better. On one page, someone wrote about pain and how it transforms people. On another, someone wrote about metaphorical punches that surprise us and knock us down. Uplifting posts here and there, reminders, lists, poems and stories that make us smile, angry, sad, laugh, and cry.

Indeed, this world is beautiful. I’m so glad I’m part of this!

*Also written for Daily Prompt: Simply the Best

Then You Found Me

I don’t consider myself expert at this, but here’s a song I’d like to share to you. I wrote it for a friend who got married a month ago, and it was sang during her wedding. This is actually the third time I wrote a wedding song for a friend. I would usually interview them and ask them a gazillion questions about their love story. And then I craft the song.

This recording is one that I did. It’s a rough copy which I sent back home (Philippines) for the wedding singer to learn. You will notice that the chorus is just a repetition of the line, “Then you found me.” I purposely did that for emphasis sake. The line actually says it all. It’s more than enough to communicate the message. Hope you will like it.

I’ve been looking at the sky
As the clouds pass me by
I marvel at its beauty and wonder
Would someone ever look at it with me one day?

The sun is waving good-bye
Leaving me with a lullaby
Echoing, it’ll be alright
Helping me make it through the night

Then you found me…
Found me…
Then you found me…
Found me…

Oh! There’s this other sky
I’ve longed to see
All I ever wanted is someone
Who would want to see it with me

Who’d help me see this world
I’ve never seen before
A world so full of magic
A world where I can soar

Then you found me…
Found me…
Then you found me…
Found me…

Since the day you’ve found me
My world has changed completely
My heart has taken wings
With you, I’m free

Cause you found me…
Found me…
Cause you found me…
Found me…

What Matters Most

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And the best thing to do is to let go
Even if it hurts
If only to teach the other a lesson
And make him ponder

But at the end of the day
What really matters is
You extended yourself
And chose to love

*Written in response to His Crocodile Tears.

*Thanks to Simple Marriage for the photo.

To live with Joy

I encourage everyone to say this out loud:

DSC04701

*Today, I’ve been blessed with 50 beautiful and gorgeous followers!
Thank you ever so much!

followed-blog-50-1x

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