If Only

To all the bullies, this song is for you.

What have I done?
Why are you hurting me this way?
I want to know why
I need to know why

I don’t recall ever hurting you
All I ever wanted was to please you
But every little thing I do seems wrong
You seem to find pleasure in my desolation

I cried a thousand times
Helpless in my sleep
You left scars in my heart
Aching deep within
Painful memories coming back alive
Forever haunting, forever hurting
If scars could only fade away…

I wish it was so easy
Blurring them away
It’s been years now, you see
But what you’ve done
Can’t seem to be undone

They were supposed to be jokes
Tricks to tickle the soul
I don’t know what kind of jokes they were
They left scars in my heart

I cried a thousand times
Helpless in my sleep
You left scars in my heart
Aching deep within
Painful memories coming back alive
Forever haunting, forever hurting
If scars could only fade away…

I don’t really hate you
I have, in fact, forgiven you
I just don’t deserve to live with this
All the days of my life

*Photo taken from Rebloggy.com

© 2014 The Mockingbird in Me


8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. D.G.Kaye
    Aug 11, 2014 @ 15:33:32

    This is a great song, great words, a great message. I am sharing it around. 🙂


  2. Dadicus Grinch
    Aug 11, 2014 @ 14:31:47

    I have always hated the expression “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Cruel words hurt the most, as your poem so painfully and poignantly conveys. Your strength lies in forgiving those who wronged you–that takes great courage. Beautiful piece.


  3. spartacus2030
    Aug 10, 2014 @ 11:13:17

    I like it Mockingbird! It’s true for me too that I have a friend like that. All he does is get me injured! LOL! He’s the reason for my back problem. Some things just aren’t funny. And I don’t like practical jokes! Abuse can take very many forms! Great post as always; thoughtful, original, and well said! Who sings this?


    • mockingbird181984
      Aug 10, 2014 @ 20:38:27

      Oh my, thank you very much! I’m still working on the melody for this. Once it’s done, I’ll post a rough recording of it, and will let you know.

      Bullying is really something. The painful memories of them, they actually come back alive in the your dreams. And they just surface without prior notice leaving you helpless. I’ve had a lot of times having to wake up crying. I get confused because I thought I have forgotten and forgiven…but surprisingly they haunt you even after 20 years or so. 😦


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